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  Anyhow, on this occasion, after donning my PE kit at home, I prompty lock myself out of the house. No wallet, no keys (obviously), and no phone. I consider going to my girlfriend’s work, but I'm not too sure where it is. This is not because I am a distant or disinterested partner, or at least not in this instance: she has only just started a new job, so I am not yet certain of her office address. Also, I don’t want to embarrass her by meeting her new colleagues in my disgusting gym get-up. With no access to phone, or Bill’s phone number, there’s little for me to do other than to make my way to Battersea.